Hello! I am Princee of niGeria.?

Okay, so I normally don't read junk email, but I think I may have just stumbled on my favorite one ever.

Hello, Steve,
I've heard that your wife is about to give birth to your firstling and you're going to be present at the childbirth.
You know, two years ago I became a father too, but after I had seen my young wife in labor I couldn't bring myself to make love to her for several months.
So there are a few tips on how to avoid my sad experience.

Then it has a link to what I'm sure is some scam of a website.  The best part about this email (other than the awesome term "firstling" which I am SO using if I ever have a kid) is that the email was from "Martha Jacobson." Now, I don't know if Martha is a guy's name in some other country, but here I have found it's mostly for the ladies. So does that mean that this person's a lesbian who is also somehow a father?  Or maybe they were just really unfortunate when it comes to being named.

Also, what a douche.  You watch your wife give birth to your firstling and you don't even have the decency to impregnate her again immediately afterward? What a terrible person.